Hi everyone, well, as promised here is an excerpt from my South American ramblings ... might as well start with themost famous story first! This comes at the 8 month mark in my 9 month adventure ... nearing the end, and almost ready to go home to London.... enjoy :) Love Janine
August 2000 some time ...
I woke up to a pistol in the side of my face .. right by my eyeball .... I could just see this black roddy thing disappearing from my eye into the hand of a very young boy... “Plata, da me plata” (Money, give me money) ... “Plata plata .... “
Just a couple of weeks before, my hesitations about going to the o-so-infamously-dangerous drug-running and corrupt Colombia had started to retreat ... with the encounters I'd been having with some travellers that had braved Colombia, and survived ...
Still fresh in my mind from Quito, the Swiss boy's words of encouragement and passion about Colombia rang through my mind .... he was so in love with the place, so overwhelmed by its beauty and its hospitality ... the incredible country side ... 'you'd be mad not to go .. it's the best place I"ve been!' ...
He was excited about its possibilities, realistic and encouraging about its safety ... he opened up his map and spread it across the floor of our dorm ... ”ok, the worst bit is this road between Pasto and Popayan (on the way to Cali),yet, it's one of the most beautiful in Colombia... don’t miss it. The Guerilla are in these hills" he said pointing enthustiastically at the map, "and they don’t bother any one ... because they have a good view of the road ... there is no police on that stretch, so the problem is the thieves ... the Guerilla don’t care if the thieves are there ... and there is no police to do anything about it".
He had convinced me, OK, why travel thousands of kilometres back south to Santiago to catch my plane, when I can just hop a few more hundred kilometres and 'risk it' by flying out of Bogota?
So, I journey my way north to the border....
The day before I cross the border... I am sitting at my northern Ecuadorian hostel table, sipping my coffee, contemplating my next move across the border in to Colombia ... I met a dark haired dark eyed gorgeous gorgeous guy at the other table ... Daniel ... we exchanged greetings and some chit chat, and then he discovered I was going to Colombia!
"Hey! I am from Colombia!" he smiled. An excited and surprised look on his face.
"Wow!!" Well, he sits down at the table and we start chatting and chatting...
He sensed my trepidation at the prospect of travelling to his country. In the end he kindly got a piece of paper and described just what the hell is going on in Colombia ....
He drew a little circle and put civilians in the middle. Then around the outside he put all the other significant groups .... first the two main cartels from ten years ago ... he said they aren’t around any more, but they were significant in how the Paramilitary groups came to be around, as they would providing protection to farmers from the Cartels and the like for a price... then he put down the not one, two or three, but four different guerilla groups that operate protecting the drug growing and exportation routes .... the national army and Police ... the Government of course, and then for the last final measure, the common thieves.
Hmm, what chance does a civilian have in this country? thinks me ... and I bravely begin my journey across the border in to this mysterious and interesting country ....
It's not long before I am at bus station, wading my way through the spanish to buy my bus ticket on the infamously dodgy road to Cali...
I was worried. As much as the five people I had met hadn’t had problems on the road ..... I knew it was a possibility, and I was travelling it alone. I have to say though, the $6 on the bus vs the $150 in plane was a big incentive to just brave it, so brave it I did!!
I thought fuck em! Lowly common thieves ... what could possibly go wrong? I stuffed the $50 US I had in my shoe under my insole, then split the 70,000 pesos I had ($35) between the two sides of my bra!
I put 15,000 pesos in my pocket .... bought my bus ticket to Cali, …. and hoped for the best.
I was worried the whole journey .... then getting super paranoid about using the Law of Attraction in reverse! "Crap, if i think about it too much then it will definitely happen!!! Visualise getting there safely or something helpful like that won't you?" .... in the end, I gave into sleep .... and was chiding myself because I couldn’t keep my eyes open for the most spectacular bit of scenery on this road !
Then next thing I knew I woke up to a pistol in the side of my face .. right by my eyeball .... I could just see this black roddy thing disappearing from my eye into the hand of a very young boy... “Plata, da me plata” (Money, give me money) ... “Plata plata .... “
I hurriedly dig into my pocket and pull it out, my heart pounding out of my chest. This kid’s voice was so high I thought it was a woman. I couldn’t tell very well, he had a black balaclava over his head... and jeans on under his army top. He shoved the gun into my face a bit more, just as I saw one of his mates going past him in the aisle with a very big serrated fishing knife .... and demand more money when all I produced was a 10,000 note. By that stage I had turned my pocket out of my trousers so he could see I had no more .... and I was thinking “fuck fuck please don’t ask for my bra!”.... he continued onto his next victim.... and my curiosity to look back was overcome by the need to not look conspicuous.... I was in the very front row of the bus with a Lonely Planet guide on my lap in full view!
So in front of me was another boy with a bomb in his hand holding it next to the bus driver demanding that he drive the bus, and faster.
There were six of them, with knives and pistols .... all very very young, all with balaclavas and makeshift army tops over their trousers.
They had split up and worked their way to the back of the bus, making sure no passenger was missed. Once they had their booty, they all shuffled up the isle to the front of the bus, lined up, told the bus driver to stop to let them off, and they were gone.
It seemed that as quickly as it had started, it was over.
The woman in the seat over the aisle from mine was crying with her baby, and the girl about my age behind her was as well. I looked over and felt the sting behind my eyes and nose and the brief urge to go out in sympathy with them. And then it went away and all I felt was bewilderment through my pounding heart.
God they don’t switch the letters and call this place “Locombia” for nothing! Increible. (Loco is the Spanish word for crazy).
The whole bus exploded into animated and heated conversation. As good as my Spanish is getting, I just cannot cope with fast speaking. How frustrating! I gather the man was asking the drivers just why they stopped the bus for these guys .. ( asked the guy behind me how it happened at the start, as I had been sleeping, he told me they had all been standing across the road.) The bus drivers exploded into defensive and animated explanations about what else were they to do? They get stopped 2 to 3 times a week on average … on the same stretch of road.
They told us we were lucky. Sometimes they take everything, all the luggage in the hold of the bus, the daypacks, and then they take everyone off the bus one by one and search them (ie bras and underwear). Then if you have some particularly good-looking clothes (ie GAP combat trousers and $150 walking boots like I had)… they command you “saca tus pantalones” (take off your trousers) … in the middle of the highway!!
I decided the best strategy from that point on would be to wear a dress on my bus rides.
One passenger came up and looked proud of himself that he had managed to stuff his money behind his head in the seat cover, … and the girl who had been crying behind the baby had stuffed all her money in her mouth … mumbling through the money to the thief when he came “no tengo nada”!!.
She got away with it, and told the story so indignantl. It amazed me how much these local people just have to accept and prepare themselves for events like these!
Well, when my heart stopped pounding, and they told me there was still a risk that we would get stopped again before reaching Popayan, I decided there was only one thing for it … a very expensive makeshift tampon shoved in a place where the sun definiteldon't shine!
I can’t believe I just told you all that. I am sure the guerilla and common thieves haven’t resorted to cavity searches on roadsides yet!!!..
We made it to Cali anyway with no further noteworthy events. Except for the fact that our storytelling at the first available police point drew only unsurprised, ambivilent and all-knowing reactions to our plight. Hmm, this is a crazy place, thinks me.
Anyway, by the time my heart stopped pounding, I realized what a cool experience I had just had all for only $6!
Well …. After that exciting chapter…. I will save the rest of my ramblings for the next one ☺
Suffice to say, I am in Medellin now (after a few days in Cali, a Paragliding trip and some hot salsa dancing) where I came to visit Daniel and have been living here with his family for the last week! I’m about to head off for my third day of Salsa classes!! How cool.
Stay tuned … I am hatching my next plan to move off and head to the coast in a couple of days, but for now I am sat tight and safe here. (Re-reading my story I might just fly to the coast!! Har har).
Love to you all
J9
8 September 2000
Oh, ps I am now booked into London 11 October 2000. So anyone who wants to babysit me, I’ll take the best bidder!!
